Perhaps the most important difference between a Christian and an unbeliever is the extent to which they personally and intimately know that God loves them. Everyone has heard verses on God’s love so many times that these words have lost much of their impact: “For God so loved the world, that He gave His only Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life.” “God shows His love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” “God is love.” “Give thanks to the God of gods, for His steadfast love endures forever.” So why do we fail to fully feel and experience God’s love for us? Maybe we’re looking for the wrong evidence of God’s love for us.
Alison Armstrong is an author, seminar speaker, and relationship expert, especially in understanding the differences between men and women. Alison has studied the distinction between being loved by someone and the feeling or the experience of being loved by someone. The keys for knowing in your heart and soul that someone loves you is that you know (i) they see you, (ii) they understand you, (iii) they accept you, (iv) they value you, and (v) they appreciate you. Alison found that receiving gifts, hearing kind words, and being physically intimate are nice and they have their place, but they do not replace these five keys to knowing that you are loved. This feeling of being loved is important in a marriage, between parents and their children, among friends, and in all our significant relationships. But most important is knowing, experiencing, and feeling that God loves us. God’s love gives us an unshakeable foundation of hope, joy, and peace. So…
(i) Does God see me? We know that God knows everything (omniscience), but is all His knowledge just stored in some old books in a dusty corner of a big library? No. Jesus comforted His disciples to not worry about the fear of persecution because their heavenly Father is in charge of everything. He has even numbered the hairs on our head. He knows us better than we know ourselves and He is constantly alert to any change in our condition or circumstances.
(ii) Does God understand me? We might wonder if God is only “book smart” or does He also have “street smarts.” Jesus lived a difficult life in a difficult time. He knows first-hand about the human condition. He was tempted in every way to sin as we are, and He resisted until even Satan gave up tempting Him; way past the point where we usually give in to sin. No one understands us and knows what we’re going through better than Jesus.
(iii) Does God accept me? Time and time again Jesus welcomed the worst sinners and outcasts that everyone else rejected. He was never surprised or overwhelmed by anyone’s sin. To everyone, Jesus offers an invitation: “Come to me and I will give you rest.” Come just as you are, warts and all, then He’ll begin your complete restoration. For some, Christianity seems narrow and exclusive. But considering Jesus’ universal invitation, nothing could be more inclusive or welcoming. No one is ever beyond the reach of God’s grace. All He asks is that we follow Him and “go and sin no more.”
(iv) Does God value me? We are the only thing in all creation made in the image of God. We are precious and honored in His sight. While creation cost God nothing, our ransom from sin cost Jesus His life at the cross. Jesus willingly shed His blood and died so we could be redeemed and adopted as His beloved children. What higher price could He have paid to show us our value to Him?
(v) Does God appreciate me? God has given us the important responsibility to be ambassadors for Christ and to go into all the world and proclaim the Gospel. Jesus told several parables about our stewardship responsibilities and how rewards await His faithful sons and daughters on judgment day. The Lord promises to reward everyone for their righteousness and his faithfulness. None of God’s faithful children are ever forgotten or abandoned.
If we want to fully feel and experience the love of God, we should spend more time meditating on what the Bible says about God’s love for us. We should also fellowship with others who are striving to comprehend what is the width and length and depth and height of the love of Christ which passes knowledge so we may be filled with all the fullness of God. Then we will truly know, feel, and experience what it is to be loved.